As a woman, there are many things you should never say to a woman if you do not want your eyes clawed out. There are definitely things you should never say to mom, whether you are a mom yourself or not. It’s just the way it is. Oh and please don’t be passive-aggressive about the things you say either. That makes the comments WAY worse.
Here are 5 (or more) things you should never say to a mom….(according to me and my friends)
- This one can be a combination of things and ways of saying these things…
- Oh you’re not going to even try to breastfeed?
- You’re still pumping? Why? (I got that one a lot)
- Why aren’t you nursing more? Why are you pumping? (Again I was asked that a few times.)
- Oh wow, you’re giving him/her formula?
2. I know many moms who are asked: You had a c-section? You took the easy way out. (Seriously? People say this? For most women, c-sections are not by choice. Who really wants to be cut open and have their organs removed? C-sections are usually performed because they’re medically necessary and they’re are scary.)
3. “Don’t hold your baby to much you’ll spoil them.” “Don’t pick up your baby every time they cry.” “Sometimes you just have to let them cry.” (When my son was a little infant, I did not let him cry. Hell no. I cuddled him and did whatever I had to to calm him down. He literally just left my womb. The world is a scary place for an adult, could you imagine what it is like for a newborn baby? I used to have to stand upright, walk around, etc. Babies that young are obviously crying for a reason. They do not know what being spoiled is. And they also are not being a brat. At that age they do not know how to work “the system”.)
4. “You know when my son/daughter was that age they were already doing x, y, z.” “This is how I did it with my baby.” (Well good for you! Do you want a trophy? Oh and BTW I didn’t ask you. I do not compare kids. Just like adults should not compare themselves to other adults, we shouldn’t compare our kids to other kids. That’s why our society is the way it is. But that is a whole other topic.)
5. “It will be good for you to get away from your kid.” “They’ll be fine without you.” “Awe but it’s only for a few hours.” (I do love opportunities to hang out with adults without my son. But the entire time I am thinking about him. “I wonder what is he doing? I hope he is OK. Uh I miss him.” When you hang out with adults that do not have kids, they have no idea why it is so hard for you to leave your kid and have some “you time”. I friggen love my kid. LOVE. Maybe I don’t want to get away from him. Sometimes I do, but majority of the time he is the only person I want to hang out with. He is the sweetest, funniest person I know. And everything I do, he loves. I’m literally a rock-star in my house.)
And finally this one I had to add as a bonus.
“Oh yeh, I know it’s hard. I have a dog/cat at home.” (ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK? Having a pet is not the same thing as having a child. I have a dog at home too. Yes he is a handful. Yes he is needy. Yes he loves my attention. But I can leave him alone all day and go out and do what I have to do. Can I just leave my 14 month son at home? “Ok, Fin…peace out I’ll be back in 5 hours. Don’t chew on anything while I’m gone.” And please don’t get me started on cats. Those things can be left alone for weeks and they’d be fine. So bottom line, having a pet at home is not even comparable to having a child. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, GRETCHEN!)