Staying in touch with friends who don’t have kids.

Those with children have always told me “Once you have a child, your life changes.” Yes this is true. In my case it changed for the better because I could not imagine my life without my son. He is seriously my favorite person in the world. I’m sure when he is 15 I will think otherwise, but for now he is my favorite. When I was pregnant I was very fortunate to reconnect with good friends that had drifted from my life. What allowed us to reconnect was the fact that we were pregnant at the same time or that they had just had a baby. I have also met some amazing new friends through mom groups and even a mommy app (think tinder for moms). Me…who doesn’t really care about making new friends…went out of my way to try to find new friends who had kids the same age or close in age to my son. I wanted to meet people whose lives were sort of like mine. Married with a child and basically boring, I mean….yeh boring. I wanted to find those whose priorities were similar to mine.

I need to point out that before meeting these mom friends (as I call them) or reconnecting with friends who are now moms, I had a core group of best friends…and I still do. The only difference is they do not have children. Some are married, some are not, some are engaged, some have successful careers, some are just living life, and some are traveling the globe. But they are still my very best friends who I love more than anything. It upsets me that it is becoming harder to stay in touch or even see them. Most of the time when I am invited anywhere, my famous last words are, “I have to bring Fin.” or “Is it OK if I bring Fin?” or “I need to see if I can have someone watch Fin.” It’s not that I do not want to see them or hang out with them, it’s simply the fact that I just can’t drop everything and go. I have this little person that literally needs me for everything he does. (He likes to not think so, but he needs me.) I just hope that my friends without kids understand how much they are still my best friends. I hope they know that I love when they come visit or invite me and Fin somewhere. I want them to understand that I do want them to tell me about their exciting lives when we are together and that it doesn’t always have to be about my kid. I would love for them to know that I tell my son all about our adventures together. I hope they know that I always refer to them as Aunt/Uncle so-and-so. Finally, I want them in my son’s life because I know how special and fortunate he is to have them as his aunts and uncles because they are wonderful and have stuck by me even though 98% 83% of the time I’m out of my mind. And if and when they have children of their own, I cannot wait for my son to grow up with them.

 

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