Small white lies moms, wives, and girlfriends tell…

 

I hate people that lie. I think those that lie about stuff are just not cool. However, there have been times I have had to tell my son (even though he’s technically still a baby) and husband little white lies. I am definitely not the only mom, wife, or girl who has had to do this. I’m pretty sure men do it all the time! I have asked around and here are the craziest and funniest white lies women have told their kids or significant others…..

  1. I once told my husband we were having company so he would clean the house. An hour or two after he was finished and my house was sparkling clean, the company sent me a text and had to cancel. (There was never any company coming.)
  2. I told my youngest daughter that the bruised spots on bananas were the sweet spots. She totally bought it and goes to eat those spots first.
  3. You can only be invited to Chuck E. Cheese. I just can’t bring you.
  4. The ice cream truck only plays music when they’ve run out of ice cream.
  5. My kids think we have hidden cameras in the house, so when they are trying to fib about something we tell them we’ll check the cameras and they spill the beans every time.
  6. Only specific Dunkin Donuts sell munchkins. And they only sell them at certain times of the day.
  7. Build a bear, Uggs, and food at stadiums can only be purchased by grandparents.
  8. I told my kids that beer and wine are for adults only. So anytime I don’t want to share something, I tell them it has beer/wine in it.
  9. Our son was giving us a hard time brushing his teeth, so I started telling him he had sugar bugs in his teeth. Now he rarely gives us a hard time and enjoys “killing the sugar bugs”.
  10. When my son wants to watch paw patrol when I’m watching Housewives, I tell him they’re sleeping.
  11. They don’t sell replace batteries for that toy.
  12. The lunch lady calls me when you don’t eat your sandwich.
  13. I have an x-ray light that can tell if you really washed your hands or not.
  14. I told my kids that Santa was fat because he eats naughty children.
  15. I tell my husband that is was on sale. (Yeh maybe in another store)
  16. I’ve told my kids that if they press the reset button on a power outlet, the house will explode.
  17. The first time my daughter lost a tooth, I didn’t hear my alarm in the middle of the night. I woke up to a very disappointed 5-year-old. Thankfully it was a holiday and I just told her the tooth fairy doesn’t work holidays.
  18. I told my girls the tangles in their hair were spider webs and if we didn’t get them out, spiders come to lay eggs in the webs and eventually the family of spiders crawl in their ears and eyes.
  19. Every time I get a scratch on my car, I tell my husband someone else must have done it.
  20. I told my daughter that she was allergic to soda and candy.
  21. Honey, I only need 1 thing from the store. (I bring home about 10 things.)
  22. I’ve told my son that every time he touches something in a store, a kitten dies.
  23. Sometimes, I lie to my kids about the time, so that they get ready for bed earlier.
  24. I always tell my husband I’ll be right there or I’ll be ready in 15 minutes. (1 hour later…)
  25. I told my kids that if they didn’t behave in the drive-thru they would get a sad meal.
  26. I told my son the TV only works when it rains.
  27. I swear I wan’t checking out that guy, I was looking at him because he doesn’t compare to you.
  28. Yes, your pecks look amazing in that shirt.
  29. I tell my kids that the building down the road is the “listening building”. So if they’re bad I have to bring them to the “listening building” which is where all the bad kids go. They freak out when I mention the building and automatically behave.
  30. Yes, I cooked this 5 course exotic _____ meal all by myself. (Hides takeout boxes)

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