I whip my boobs back and forth

When my son was born my main goal was to be able to provide him breast milk for a full year. I did not want to have to supplement with formula. That was just my own personal goal. I succeeded. I nursed him and pumped for 6 months and then exclusively pumped for another 6 months until he turned 1. I had a lot of reasonings as to why I wanted to do this. Or I should say needed to do this for a year. I can share those at another time. My daughter was born 5 days ago and I have been nursing her. My goal is the same, to do it for 1 year. I did start to pump (shhhh….don’t tell the lactation consultant) because I have to build up a stash for when my mom watches her when I go back to work in September. Also, my husband likes being able to give her a bottle here and there (especially in the middle of the night). 

I was talking to one of my best friends the other day who recently became a mother and she shared with me that she had to nurse her son while getting a pap smear at the OB. Damn girl! It got me thinking about the weirdest places that I ever had to nurse or pump. I don’t have many. The back of a car, an airport (right in the open while everyone was lining up to board), a bathroom (not in a stall) at my cousin’s baby shower, in a dressing from at the AC outlets, and behind a basically see-through curtain at my grandmother’s surprise birthday party. Those are the ones that come to mind. 

I asked a few Facebook mommy groups I belong to, to share places they have nursed or pumped and I got a kick out of the responses. Here are some for you to enjoy!

  1. On the couch, in front of my grandparents. My grandfather said. “It’s fine. I’ve seen lots of boobs in my day.”
  2. While opening a bank account.
  3. While getting foils in my hair at the salon.
  4. While on a battle tour in Williamsburg, VA.
  5. On the side of the road in my car on the PA turnpike.
  6. Walking from Jenks Aquarium to our car that was parked a few blocks away.
  7. In the backseat of the car as my husband drove super slow in traffic. The newborn was in her car seat and I leaned over and put my boob in her mouth.
  8. During a baptism.
  9. On a plane.
  10. In an ER.
  11. While on line at Disney World/Six Flags.
  12. While walking in the ACS Breast Cancer Society Walk.
  13. Pumped at a concert.
  14. During a funeral/wake.
  15. During a massage.
  16. During the closing of our new house surrounded by attorneys and realtors.
  17. While having my Mirena removed.
  18. At a baseball game.
  19. During a skin prick test at the allergist.
  20. While on line at TJ Maxx waiting to pay for my items.
  21. At a graduation.
  22. Waiting to meet Mickey Mouse, then while meeting Mickey Mouse.
  23. In line to see Santa at the mall.
  24. While on the Aladdin magic carpet ride in Disney.
  25. While walking around Costco.

I am very impressed and proud of all these mommas who have no fear and do what they need to do to feed their babies. You see more cleavage in a bikini or dress then you do when a mom is breastfeeding. I hate when people think it’s gross. HELLO in 1892 did they have formula? No, women breastfed. Every mammal breastfeeds. That’s why women have breasts. We as humans have learned to sexualize them. So leave a nursing mom alone when you see her feeding her child. No one bothers you when you’re eating. And do not tell me to go in the bathroom or I will personally drag your ass in with me and dip your head in the filthy toilet water. Moms are badasses, plain and simple. And if you as a mom decided to feed your child formula instead of breast milk or couldn’t produce enough milk, you’re still a badass. Moms are the strongest people on the planet, sorry dads….we just are!



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