Confessions of a mother

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Often times being a wife and mother is overwhelming and hard. I have 3 kids. One who will be 2 and 1/2 (don’t ask me how many months that is), another who is 10 weeks old, and a 34 year old man child. Yes, I include my husband as one of my children because often I feel more like his mother than wife. I also have 2 fur children if you to throw them into the mix. Anyway…being a mother is a full-time job. I have that job, along with being a cook, cleaning lady, laundry person, milk maid, snack bitch, garbage man, chauffeur, bather, oh and my real job that pays me an income. Moms do it all! I probably do more than what I listed but whose keeping track? Me? Nah…..

I started to think of all the little things I say or do (basically lies I feed my kids and husband….I swear it’s not that many) and started to wonder if other wives and moms did the same thing. For instance…when I tell my husband I have to go to the grocery store and that I won’t be long….for some reason when I go there are so many people, the lines to checkout are outrageous, etc. Now sometimes I am telling the true, other times I just want piece and quiet. It’s my “momcation” as I call it. When my husband asks me to pick him up something from the store and I forget…it’s not really the truth all the time. Yes, most of the time I do forget, other times I have passed that aisle and I don’t want to go back so I tell him they were all out of it.

I asked some other wives and moms to share with me little things they secretly do. I asked them to confess. I won’t reveal any names so that I can protect their identity. I don’t want to start a husband and wife war. However, I’m sure husbands lie to their wives all the damn time! Here are what some women had to confess……

-I hide things my husband refuses to get rid of and if he doesn’t look for it within 3 months, I chuck it.

-I hide food I don’t want to share (a lot). I will legit eat Reese’s under a blanket and hide the evidence. Especially with Milano cookies.

-I hide my chocolate all the time.

-I’ve pretended the kids are misbehaving just so I don’t have to answer the phone or door.

-When I don’t feel like cooking dinner, I blame it on the babies. I say hat they wanted to be held all day, or they were crying, or were fussy all day. 

-When my husband is home, I often pretend to use the bathroom while he watches the kids and I just sit on the edge of the tub and read a magazine.

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-I sometimes stay in my daughters room after she’s fallen asleep to get some peace and quiet…sometimes I fall asleep on her floor.

-I eat snacks in the car on the way home because I don’t wan to share or hear “Where’s mine?”

-I secretly eat my kids’ treats and when they find out I tell them daddy did it.

-I keep a stash of my favorite snacks in the dish towel drawer.

-Sometimes I tell my child he’s allergic to what I am eating.

-I have been “sick” on numerous dinner nights at my mother-in-law’s. Once my husband and kids leave, I open a bottle of wine and turn on Netflix.

-I often find myself taking 45 minute long showers just to have some quiet me time when my husband is home watching our son.

-I totally bought Cadburry eggs for my kids for Easter knowing they hate them and I will get to eat them.

-I throw my kids’ crafts away when they are asleep. I can’t take all that stuff lying around the house. 

-I have ignored cat puke and hairballs if I know my husband will see it, so he has to clean it up.

PLEASE share with me your confessions! I would love to hear them. These all made me crack up!

 

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