Mommy facebook groups: Where everyone can be themselves…

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I belong to a few “mommy” facebook groups. I like it because you can find some good suggestions or recommendations when needed. For example,..”Where is a good place to host my daughter’s 1st birthday?” “I live in this town, where should I order pizza from?” But the groups are often filled with mom shaming (Even though most of these moms call these groups a judgement free zone. I call bullshit on that one!) Most of these moms are constantly judging and shaming each other.

You have the stay at home moms who think they are almighty because they are staying home with their kids…you have the working moms who think they are almighty because they both work and take care of their kids. And then you have the, what I like to call, “Pinterest/Intsagram” moms who make everything seem super easy and awesome while standing in their picture-perfect white kitchen and are most likely trying to sell you something. And if you sell their product, you’ll be just like them….

Those of you not in mommy groups…pull up a chair and read all about the things certain moms post or ask in these groups. Get ready for your mind to explode!

  1. Husband or significant other bashing is a huge topic. Women come on all the time and bash their husbands or boyfriends. And I mean bash! The best is when I personally know the person and know that on their private facebook page it’s all lovely dovey pictures and their relationship is “perfect”. If you hate your husband that badly or they really annoy you, go to therapy! GO TO THERAPY for yourself. You probably need it. I’m talking about therapy for your crazy ass, not even couples therapy. Men can be useless we all know this, but in the end we need them.
  2. My kid has a 110 fever. My kid has been throwing up for 14 days. My kid is bleeding from their skull, a band-aid isn’t helping…what should I do? UH GO TO THE FRIGGIN ER! Elderberry syrup (which I do give my kid) isn’t going to fix the bone sticking out of your kid’s arm. GO TO THE DOCTOR. I will sometimes ask my mom friends through text what I should do if my kids are teething or have a runny nose, but when my kid has a 103 fever, you bet your ass we are on our way to the medical professional’s office.
  3. STOP BASHING TEACHERS! I’m a teacher. A special education teacher. I went to school and studied education. YOU DIDN’T. I’m not going to tell you how to lawyer, I’m not a lawyer. I’m not going to tell you how to invest, I’m not a financial adviser….so please for the love of GOD, do not tell teachers how to teach or that you know more than them. Yes granted some teachers don’t know squat and I often wonder how they even graduated but we all went into the profession to help kids. Most of the moms that bash teachers are clearly uneducated. Sorry, not sorry.
  4. When people complain that they aren’t sure if they should have a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 100th kid. Well lucky you, that you can snap your fingers and become pregnant. A LOT OF WOMEN ARE NOT THAT LUCKY! And it is super insensitive that you are worried about getting pregnant when you can’t afford or don’t want another baby. WELL USE PROTECTION or ask your husband to get snipped.
  5. When women complain that they had the worse pregnancies, granted it was not the worse pregnancy. Sorry your feet were swollen. Most of the women that complain have no serious complications with their pregnancies and nothing wrong with their babies. Again, super insensitive. I get it you’re looking for a place to vent and you’re allowed to vent, but keep in mind you’re pissing a shit load of people off.
  6. STOP TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS. ESPECIALLY FAD WEIGHT LOSS STUFF. You want to loose weight, Karen, PUT DOWN THE JUNK FOOD and walk, move your body. Your before and after photos are not that different….you are just sucking in your tummy in the after photo. Or you pulling up your workout pants a little higher to cover up your muffin top. If a company created a weight loss magic product, everyone would be on it and the whole world would be thin.
  7. People that complain about the daycare or preschool they send their kid to. I have one word for you…leave. You’re the one spending the money, if you’re not happy, leave. They will fill your spot, believe me. Every family seems to need daycare in today’s world, so your spot will be filled. I used to work at a daycare for almost 5 years. I know what it is like. It’s exhausting! You are taking care of other people’s children all day and most of those children are brats. There are some parents that think daycare workers don’t care, ummmm they do. God forbid anything happens, they are responsible. It is nerve-wrecking watching someone else’s kid. In most daycares now, there are cameras where the parents can spy on what’s going on. My daycare actually does not provide this. In a way I’m glad…their reasoning makes sense. They don’t know who can hack the system and basically watch all these children that are not theirs. They have told me, we do not feel comfortable not knowing who is on the other side of the camera watching. It makes sense. Also, if you’re going to complain about the daycare or preschool you send your kid to because they did something you’re not comfortable with…share the name of the school so others can be aware of the incident or know what’s going on.
  8. Some women talk about things or vent/complain about things that basically I or someone else should call the cops about….just saying.

I’m sure there are a lot more, but quite honestly I have blocked all the mom groups from my newsfeed so I haven’t had the luxury of seeing posts lately. I step back into the groups when I have a quick question about what I should make in my crockpot for dinner. But here is how I will end this post…with a list of the type of moms you will find in mommy facebook groups.

  1. The mom that quotes articles she has read, thinking she is the most educated person in town.
  2. The mom that only comments on other’s posts but never actually posts anything herself.
  3. The mom that is constantly offended by e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
  4. The mom that just posts memes and gifs all the time.
  5. The mom that is the admin that threatens everyone from time to time with “I’ll delete you if you post this.”
  6. The silent mom that only reads posts.
  7. The mom that is advertising what she is selling. She only comes to play on the days you are “allowed” to post about what you are selling or promoting.
  8. The mom that over shares. I don’t care what you are getting your husband for your 6th anniversary of the time you ate pizza at your fav restaurant.
  9. The mom that always needs an opinion. Does this dress look good? Hurry I’m standing in the dressing room at Target and need to know if I should buy this or not.
  10. The everything needs to be organic or natural mom. Well I just blew hair off a cracker I bought at the dollar store that my kid dropped on the floor and gave it back to him.
  11. The mom that starts her post with “no judgement please”. Oh honey, you are so definitely going to be judged.

I’d love to hear about what bugs you in mom facebook groups!

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