I do not give my husband enough credit for the things that he does for our family. As a woman and wife, I tend to nag him or harp on the little things he does that annoy me. When people ask me where he works and I tell him he commutes almost 35-45 minutes away (depending on traffic) and that he coaches a sport every season and sometimes isn’t home until after 8 (game or meet nights sometimes around midnight), most of their reactions are “oh my, that sounds terrible”. I guess because I’m used to it and I am not the one actually commuting and coaching or being out of the house for that long…it doesn’t sound terrible but in reality, it is. The man lives out of his car and I always give him shit for it being so messy. I’m going to have to stop that. He leaves before the sun is up and comes home when the sun has already set. When he does come home early enough to see his kids it’s usually right before bath or during bath or during books when they’ll be going to bed soon. He puts down his stuff right by the front door to give us all hugs and kisses and then I have the nerve to yell at him for leaving his stuff right there instead of putting it right away. I need to stop yelling at him for doing that. The man just got home, wants to see his kids before they go to bed and I’m yelling that he’s messy and needs to put his stuff away. What’s wrong with me? I will not stop yelling at him for putting stuff on our entry way bench though, that I’m strict about…it’s for sitting…not his crap. I need to start showing him more appreciation for the things he does for me and our children. I know he knows I appreciate him, but I need to learn to express it more. (I do think of him often when I’m out shopping and will buy him a special treat here and there.) I know he appreciates everything I do for our family as well, but sometimes he lacks in showing it too, it would be nice for him to show his gratitude a little more often. Maybe one day…but for now, I started thinking about all the things my husband does for me and our family.
He takes care of the dogs. He is the one that mainly feeds them. Granted I feed them, but he is the one who lets them out first thing in the morning and feeds them. We still crate our one dog during the night, and she is one lucky puppy when my husband falls asleep on his recliner because she gets to stay out and cuddle. He is the one that wrangles them up (takes a year to get our one dog in his harness and leash because he gets beyond excited and runs around like a maniac) and gets them in the car to go to the groomer’s or vet’s.
When my husband does get home and is tired and hungry, he immediately helps me with the kids. Whether it’s helping to bathe them, feed them, whatever, he helps with no complaints. Any night he is home in time, he puts our daughter to sleep while I take care of our son. My son goes to bed and my daughter is usually still eating or needs to be rocked to sleep and my husband does it. He lets me go eat dinner (because he knows how HANGRY I can get) or take a shower or just decompress.
On Saturdays he doesn’t say anything when I have my wine evening/night. I never have any alcoholic beverages during the week unless it’s a holiday. It’s just not my thing. Wine makes me tired and I’m already tired, so I dedicate my Saturday evenings to wine. It’s my reward for taming another busy week. But 1 and a 1/2 glasses and I’m ready for bed. My husband is on duty every Saturday night. I do wake up when our daughter has her nightly wake ups to eat and nurse her even though it is my husband’s “night” but there have been times where I am just way too exhausted to get out of bed and my husband will take care of her. I normally do the middle of the night feedings because it’s easier to nurse than heat up a pumped bottle, but if there is ever a night, I just can’t function, he will do it and doesn’t complain.
On Sundays my husband always, always, always lets me go to Crossfit in the mornings. He never once asks if he could go instead because he knows how much I love to go. He stays home with the kids and takes care of them so I can take care of myself both physically and mentally. He also races home one night a week to let me go. (Don’t worry he gets to go to CF a few times a week as well.)
My husband is my biggest supporter. No matter how hard things get or how stressed out I am, he is always there in my corner cheering me on. He has helped me overcome so much in our 7 years together. I’m definitely my own worst enemy and he has shown me how to root for myself instead of always putting myself down.
My husband will run out and grab something for me if I need it without hesitation. If I mention I’m in the mood for a certain food, he’ll ask me if I would like him to go get it. 9 times out of 10 I’ll tell him no, it’s fine, but there have been on occasion where I have said, “Please yes, can you go grab that for me?”
My husband will also do things I ask him to do when I’m being too lazy. Seriously lazy….like remote is too far for me to get and he’s in the other room and I call for him to come bring me the remote lazy. And he does it, he laughs and tells me I’m ridiculous, but does it and while he is doing it, I’ll ask him to bring me a drink when he was just in the kitchen and I should have probably asked him for the drink first, then the remote.
When he wants to do something or go out with his friends or coaches, he always asks me. He respects me and wants to make sure I’m ok with him going, rather than just go and tell me when he’s already out. I really like that about him. Because when I ask him if it’s ok that I go out with my friends, he always says he’s fine with it.
Long story short in all of this is that my husband is an amazing man. Everyone likes him when they meet him because he’s just so damn likable. I don’t give him enough credit for the things that he does do, I tend to harp on the things he doesn’t. He doesn’t come home and start harping on me for all the things I’m lacking in doing, however, sometimes I wish he would, so I didn’t feel so bad for doing it to him. I do really wish he wasn’t as messy with his things, but I’m slowly starting to learn I’m not going to change that in him. When I tell him to do something for example like hang the towel the “right way”, he replies…there is no right way, you mean hang it the “Jackie way.” That is true. So that is how I phrase things now, haha. I love and appreciate everything he does for us, I want him to know that. I also want him to know that I notice the way our kids light up when they see him. He is the best for our family, and I am so happy he chose to be with me.