Hazel is 1!

And the world’s okayest mom award goes to me. I wouldn’t call myself the worse mom because I’m not. But I am just an okay mom due to the fact that I never wrote something to/for my daughter for her 1st birthday in July. Every birthday so far that my son has had, I have written him something so that when he is older he can read them and know how special he is to me. I never wrote anything for my daughter because life got in the way. So here we go.

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Fin is 3!

Dear Fin,

      These past 3 years have been the best of my life. As much as I’m unhappy with certain aspects of my life, you remind me of why I wake up every day. You and your sister are the reasons I strive to be the best I can be. You amaze me every day. You remember everything, to the point where sometimes I can’t even lie to you because you remember everything I say. You are such a sweet little boy, but man are you fresh sometimes. Even when you are fresh you are the cutest little thing. I am definitely a mom that tells her kids “no”, redirects them and corrects their behavior…but when you cry I feel so bad! I know you need to learn right from wrong and I often joke that I’m a “mean mom”, but I am not raising an asshole. That word is a word you also know and have been using here and there when you refer to things. Funny part is, you use it in its correct context.

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If I won the lottery…

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If I won the lottery, I would be ecstatic! I feel like I would definitely stress less. I do believe money does buy happiness to an extent. Money might not solve all of your problems, but it can definitely help. My husband and I sometimes talk about what we would do if we won the lottery…….Maybe we should actually play it from time to time. We only play the lottery when the jackpot is HUGE, in the millions and millions of dollars. I came up with a list of things I would do if I won the MEGA jackpot.

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Everyone wants to be an “Influencer”

I have a private Instagram account where I share pictures that only my friends and family can see. I don’t normally accept random requests from people to follow me unless I personally know them. I have a public Instagram where I also share pictures but this Instagram is geared more towards “influencing”. I share pictures of my family, friends, Crossfit, fitness stuff, mom/kid things, food pics to share recipes and cool finds, etc. My husband makes fun of me for having this page, saying…”Oh here she goes posting again.” However, my counter argument is that he is the one who persuaded me to create a public Instagram and even this website. I tell my husband that I’m a very important person and all 3 followers I have are very interested in my daily life and posts.

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A thank you to my best friend, my husband.

I do not give my husband enough credit for the things that he does for our family. As a woman and wife, I tend to nag him or harp on the little things he does that annoy me. When people ask me where he works and I tell him he commutes almost 35-45 minutes away (depending on traffic) and that he coaches a sport every season and sometimes isn’t home until after 8 (game or meet nights sometimes around midnight), most of their reactions are “oh my, that sounds terrible”. I guess because I’m used to it and I am not the one actually commuting and coaching or being out of the house for that long…it doesn’t sound terrible but in reality, it is. The man lives out of his car and I always give him shit for it being so messy. I’m going to have to stop that. He leaves before the sun is up and comes home when the sun has already set. When he does come home early enough to see his kids it’s usually right before bath or during bath or during books when they’ll be going to bed soon. He puts down his stuff right by the front door to give us all hugs and kisses and then I have the nerve to yell at him for leaving his stuff right there instead of putting it right away. I need to stop yelling at him for doing that. The man just got home, wants to see his kids before they go to bed and I’m yelling that he’s messy and needs to put his stuff away. What’s wrong with me? I will not stop yelling at him for putting stuff on our entry way bench though, that I’m strict about…it’s for sitting…not his crap. I need to start showing him more appreciation for the things he does for me and our children. I know he knows I appreciate him, but I need to learn to express it more. (I do think of him often when I’m out shopping and will buy him a special treat here and there.) I know he appreciates everything I do for our family as well, but sometimes he lacks in showing it too, it would be nice for him to show his gratitude a little more often. Maybe one day…but for now, I started thinking about all the things my husband does for me and our family.

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Mommy facebook groups: Where everyone can be themselves…

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I belong to a few “mommy” facebook groups. I like it because you can find some good suggestions or recommendations when needed. For example,..”Where is a good place to host my daughter’s 1st birthday?” “I live in this town, where should I order pizza from?” But the groups are often filled with mom shaming (Even though most of these moms call these groups a judgement free zone. I call bullshit on that one!) Most of these moms are constantly judging and shaming each other.

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