I do not give my husband enough credit for the things that he does for our family. As a woman and wife, I tend to nag him or harp on the little things he does that annoy me. When people ask me where he works and I tell him he commutes almost 35-45 minutes away (depending on traffic) and that he coaches a sport every season and sometimes isn’t home until after 8 (game or meet nights sometimes around midnight), most of their reactions are “oh my, that sounds terrible”. I guess because I’m used to it and I am not the one actually commuting and coaching or being out of the house for that long…it doesn’t sound terrible but in reality, it is. The man lives out of his car and I always give him shit for it being so messy. I’m going to have to stop that. He leaves before the sun is up and comes home when the sun has already set. When he does come home early enough to see his kids it’s usually right before bath or during bath or during books when they’ll be going to bed soon. He puts down his stuff right by the front door to give us all hugs and kisses and then I have the nerve to yell at him for leaving his stuff right there instead of putting it right away. I need to stop yelling at him for doing that. The man just got home, wants to see his kids before they go to bed and I’m yelling that he’s messy and needs to put his stuff away. What’s wrong with me? I will not stop yelling at him for putting stuff on our entry way bench though, that I’m strict about…it’s for sitting…not his crap. I need to start showing him more appreciation for the things he does for me and our children. I know he knows I appreciate him, but I need to learn to express it more. (I do think of him often when I’m out shopping and will buy him a special treat here and there.) I know he appreciates everything I do for our family as well, but sometimes he lacks in showing it too, it would be nice for him to show his gratitude a little more often. Maybe one day…but for now, I started thinking about all the things my husband does for me and our family.
I belong to a few “mommy” facebook groups. I like it because you can find some good suggestions or recommendations when needed. For example,..”Where is a good place to host my daughter’s 1st birthday?” “I live in this town, where should I order pizza from?” But the groups are often filled with mom shaming (Even though most of these moms call these groups a judgement free zone. I call bullshit on that one!) Most of these moms are constantly judging and shaming each other.
With baking season here, did you know that there are many ways to use healthy substitutes in certain recipes? I know I know, it’s December 24th and I’m just posting this now…but I have a lot going on. I even left my baking for today! Uh.
Here are a few for baking!
Dear Dunkin and Starbucks,
I love you both. I truly do, but we need to talk. Pull up a seat, sit down, relax, I’ll pour you a nice hot cup of coffee. Would you like milk or cream in your coffee? Oh, you want non-dairy milk? Ok that will cost you extra, my dear. What? Not fair? Exactly. Often, I am granted with coupons to Dunkin or Starbucks and I become super excited. Or they are having some promotion where if you go between a certain time, their drinks are cheaper.
Being a mom has made me realize how much a mom is willing to do for her children. As an only child, growing up had it’s advantages and disadvantages. I was always at my grandma’s playing with my cousins, so I never really felt like an only child, however, when I went home I was alone which I didn’t mind. Sometimes it was lonely, it’s one of the main reasons why I wanted at least two children, so that they always have each other. Because I am an only child, I have always felt that my mom was a little over protective. She didn’t have anyone else to worry about except for me. She is definitely a mama bear for sure. I get it though, finally. I get what it feels like to always worry about the well-being and safety of your kids. I know what it feels like to love someone so much you would do absolutely anything for them.
Being a mom of 2 I have a learned a lot about myself, as well as other things. Mostly that I have no control over most things in my life. Being someone that likes to have control over a lot of things made me realize I need to adjust this and just let things flow. And boy have I learned to do that. I try not to let myself get anxious about stuff I cannot control, which can be hard. I have realized that I’m in the same boat as 99% of moms out there. The moms on Instagram and Pinterest, that 1%, are either not real (just for show) or do not actually spend anytime with their kids….or are super rich and can afford to hire people to do everything for them. There are so many things us moms need to just except, basically.
Often times being a wife and mother is overwhelming and hard. I have 3 kids. One who will be 2 and 1/2 (don’t ask me how many months that is), another who is 10 weeks old, and a 34 year old man child. Yes, I include my husband as one of my children because often I feel more like his mother than wife. I also have 2 fur children if you to throw them into the mix. Anyway…being a mother is a full-time job. I have that job, along with being a cook, cleaning lady, laundry person, milk maid, snack bitch, garbage man, chauffeur, bather, oh and my real job that pays me an income. Moms do it all! I probably do more than what I listed but whose keeping track? Me? Nah…..
My path to external and internal happiness…
You made me a mom of 2. While you’re only 5 weeks old, I am so very grateful to you. When I was pregnant with Fin I gained 23 lbs. I worked out by doing a lot of cardio at the gym, some machines, and a lot of squats at home. When I gave birth, I lost my baby weight quickly but still didn’t feel comfortable in my skin. I breastfed and my body hung onto fat in places I never had it before and it was hard for me to deal with. I would secretly analyze myself in the mirror and cry. Your daddy would tell me all the time how beautiful I was but I didn’t believe him. I needed to think that myself and I didn’t. I also didn’t want to get in that mentality that I was in my 30s, had a kid, so I could “let myself go”. That just isn’t me, at all.