One thing I cannot stand more than anything is when strangers make comments or give me “advice” about how I parent. First off, how do I know you even have children? Because if you don’t….back off. You have no right to say one word to me. Also, if you start making comments or giving me advice, you better pull out your PhD certificate in being the world’s best parent, otherwise I’m not listening to you because you probably just obtained have a PhD in bullshit. I’m going to try to keep my bad language to a minimum in this post because otherwise it would be covered all over in it.
I believe that there are two kinds of people that always tell the truth, drunk people and toddlers. When I used to work at a daycare, I was given the cold, harsh truth by some toddlers. I would then ask to use the restroom, give myself a long, hard look in the mirror and try to hold back the tears. Kids say funny things, but when a toddler says it, it’s even funnier because they have just learned to talk. I wonder if they were holding all this word vomit in for the first years of their life when they couldn’t speak. If you think a toddler is secretly judging you, you’re wrong. They aren’t secretly judging you, they are judging you…hard. They are tiny little tornado beasts that destroy everything in their path…toys, clothes, household items, souls…..
I hate people that lie. I think those that lie about stuff are just not cool. However, there have been times I have had to tell my son (even though he’s technically still a baby) and husband little white lies. I am definitely not the only mom, wife, or girl who has had to do this. I’m pretty sure men do it all the time! I have asked around and here are the craziest and funniest white lies women have told their kids or significant others…..
Those with children have always told me “Once you have a child, your life changes.” Yes this is true. In my case it changed for the better because I could not imagine my life without my son. He is seriously my favorite person in the world. I’m sure when he is 15 I will think otherwise, but for now he is my favorite. When I was pregnant I was very fortunate to reconnect with good friends that had drifted from my life. What allowed us to reconnect was the fact that we were pregnant at the same time or that they had just had a baby. I have also met some amazing new friends through mom groups and even a mommy app (think tinder for moms).
As a woman, there are many things you should never say to a woman if you do not want your eyes clawed out. There are definitely things you should never say to mom, whether you are a mom yourself or not. It’s just the way it is. Oh and please don’t be passive-aggressive about the things you say either. That makes the comments WAY worse.
Here are 5 (or more) things you should never say to a mom….(according to me and my friends)
Why are dogs the best? It’s quite simple. They just are. My dog is always excited to see me. ALWAYS!
I think I always shock people (especially women) when I tell them that I’ve never seen the movie Pretty Woman or Dirty Dancing. And I never will. I have no interest in ever seeing them. And the fact that I’m then pressured to see it because they are the greatest movies of all time, makes me want to see them less! I was forced once to watch the remake of Footloose (I never saw the original) and I wanted to crawl into a hole it was terrible. I think I only watched the beginning and then left. However, there are certain movies that I can watch over and over. There are certain movies that no matter what I am doing, if I see it on TV…I stop what I’m doing and just sit and watch it. My husband has found me sitting at the end of the bed watching a movie, when I should have been in the shower or getting ready. I’m very guilty of this. I’m sure I’m going to miss a lot of movies that I love, but I’ve compiled a list of the ones I know for a fact my world would be a dark place if they didn’t exist. The best part about these movies…is everytime I watch them, I discover something new.
So I have always wanted to write a children’s book. Maybe one day I will. I wanted to write about a hero or a princess or a puppy, etc. But now after having a baby, I have changed my tone a bit. Here are some of the books I would write.